A father's testimony: after the mother returned to Morocco without his knowledge, a divorce, and repeated moves without notice, he has spent two years crossing 2,000 km every Sunday to see his child for nine hours. A cost of visitation rights too often left out of the conversation — its financial and human toll.
Testimony collected from a father who is a member of the association, as part of a series of accounts on the human and financial cost of staying present in a child's life after an international separation. Details that could identify those involved have been deliberately omitted or altered.
Why this testimony?
The fathers the association supports are tired of being reduced to a case number. They agree to tell their story precisely because, in court, that story is too often reduced to a legal provision or an interpretation they have no right to discuss — even as the procedure itself limits what they can actually put forward as evidence, and time rarely works in their favour. Speaking up as a father remains, in practice, a taboo: part of society expects him to pay child support, step back from his child's life, and stay silent, as though his presence didn't matter. The “best interests of the child”, invoked by everyone, too often seem to be read only from the mother's side. These testimonies exist so that, at least once, the story is told by the person living it — in his own words, not in a court ruling's.
A return to Morocco without authorisation
The couple had married in Morocco, then settled abroad, where their child was born. One day, without informing him or seeking his agreement, the mother returned to Morocco with the child, with help from her family, and then filed for divorce. The father had no information about where his child was.
“I did what I could, I alerted whoever I could, but nobody moved. In the end I searched for my child myself, and found them in Morocco.”
He then informed the relevant authorities, who initially mobilised. But false statements passed on by the mother led to his complaints being dropped: throughout the divorce proceedings, he could not see his child — with, in his words, the implicit threat that he would only see the child again once he agreed to a quick divorce.
The divorce granted, the obstruction continues
The divorce was eventually granted. That was not enough to restore contact:
“Even after the divorce, she refused to hand over my child. I could only get my child back by calling the police — calls that never actually led to anyone coming, but were enough to frighten her.”
The father then arranged trips from abroad, every Sunday, to see his child. After three consecutive visits — and seven months without seeing the child — the mother again refused to bring the child to him. According to his account, this was the first episode of non-presentation of a child after the divorce.
A second move, without notice in time
Some time later, the mother moved abroad again, this time much further away, without informing him in time or seeking his authorisation. Arriving in Morocco for the planned visit, the father could no longer find his child; his in-laws, in his words, called him “mentally ill”. He filed a complaint with the prosecutor, which was dropped after the mother's father claimed she had informed him in time — which, according to the father's account, was not accurate.
Two years, 2,000 kilometres every Sunday
Since then, nothing has changed in how visits are organised: every Sunday for two years, this father has travelled 2,000 kilometres to see his child. In the meantime, the mother has moved five times in total, never informing him in advance — except once, by text message, ten days before leaving.
“Everyone invokes the best interests of the child. But who, besides the father, actually thinks about it? I've spent close to €50,000 to see my child for just nine hours, every Sunday.”
This testimony highlights an aspect of the debate that is too often left out: beyond the legal texts on custody and visitation rights, the real cost — financial, logistical, human — of staying present in a child's life after an international separation falls almost entirely on the parent who has to travel. When that cost becomes an obstacle in itself, visitation stops being an effective right and becomes a privilege reserved for those who can afford it.
This testimony joins the thousands of cases the association follows: the bond between a child and their father should never depend on the father's financial means, nor on one parent's willingness to inform the other of their moves.